Despicable Me
by LacedwithLacey
Summary: When a goat eats your uniform on the day of the placement exam, you just know it's going to be a bad, bad day.
1. The Dreadful Wake-Up Call

Mornings normally went pretty **slow** in the Matsukata household.. even if your goat eats your school uniform.

Saoru groaned as she stepped into her room from the shower, groaning. "Yuki!" she exclaimed at the pygmy goat. The goat looked up at Saoru, bleated, and ran off. "Oh, what am I going to do?!" Saoru groaned yet again, sitting down on her bed. She stared at the scraps of uniform on her bed. She then remembered that she had ordered another uniform, only the skirt was the shorter version of the original, the one that Yuki had chewed up. Saoru dried off quickly, and put the uniform on. Said uniform consisted of a blouse, a tie, a skirt, and basically anything that you need to have a school uniform. Saoru tugged the skirt down, pouting at her reflection in the mirror. She whipped out her make-up palette, which was really mascara and eye liner. She turned her curling iron on and got to the task of doing her hair.

When finished, Saoru tied a big, black bow onto her head, coming from under the nape of her neck to her crown. She fixed her bangs, and then walked out of her room. Saoru yawned, grabbing a protein bar from the counter, and called out to her father.

"Bye Father!"

No reply.

_He must still be sleeping, then.. figures._

Saoru started her 'perilous' journey to Funizuki academy. Lucky for her, she didn't have to take a bus. She _hated buses._She didn't know why, but she did.

~~Time Skip!~~

At the academy, Saoru took her seat in one of the free chairs, that just so happened to be next to a girl with pink hair. She lightly tapped on Saoru's shoulder. "Excuse me?" she said quietly. Saoru looked to her, beige eyes **scanning** her up and down. "Mhm?" Saoru answered half-heartedly.

"Do you have a spare pencil I could borrow?" she asked sweetly, her mass of pink hair bouncing.

"Um.. I think so.. lemme check." Saoru said, reaching into her satchel to her left. She was greeted with a pair of blue eyes close to the floor, those that could only be paired with Muttsulini's. "Um.. hi.." she said awkwardly, before grabbing a pencil handing it over to the pink haired girl, who introduced herself immediately. "I'm Himeji." Pink Hair said, extending a hand. Saoru blinked, then met Himeji's hand with her own. "Saoru Matsukata..." she murmured.

Ironman stood up front, banging loudly on the podium. "Yes, hi, welcome back to Hell. This is the placement test. If you leave the room while the exam is still going on, you will receive a zero in score, and be placed into the lowest class. Got it?"

Chorus of yes's and no's.

"Get at it!" Ironman yelled, causing Saoru to jump. She focused on the paper in front of her. _This first one looks easy.. square root of 327.. that must be.. close to 18. Next one. Name a landform. Canyon. What continent is Japan on? Japan is an island, but is considered a member of the Asian continent. _Saoru's thoughts were interrupted by a light poke. "Hey, you.. do you know the answer to 7?" a voice asked.

Saoru twitched, irritated. "For one, random voice, this is a PLACEMENT EXAM. And two, you'd have to be stupid if you don't know the answer to 120 times 6." she fumed.

"Just asking, don't have to get butthurt about it." the voice mumbled. That was Saoru's last straw. She turned in her seat to see a slacker with red hair. "Alright, mister. You-"

"Matsukata!" Ironman yelled. "My office! Now!"

"B-but.. you said that we can't leave the room or else we forfeit our scores!" Saoru exclaimed.

"Too bad, sweetheart!" He said in a mocking tone.

Saoru sighed, clenching her fists as she gathered her stuff, and walked out of the room in a huff. Himeji waved. Slacker just chuckled. Akihisa flicked the back of his head. "Hey, Yuuji. Yuuji hey." he whispered forcefully. "What, Akihisa." Yuuji grumbled.

"Do you think we could win our way back to class A this year?"

"Doubtful. Matsukata sounded like she had potential." Yuuji said coolly, laying back in his chair with his feet on his desk. His arms were crossed, and eyes were closed.

Saoru placed angrily outside the office. "I hate this school!" she grumbled, sitting down in a fit.


	2. Oh, the Humanity

_"Get at it!" Ironman yelled, causing Saoru to jump. She focused on the paper in front of her. This first one looks easy.. square root of 327.. that must be.. close to 18. Next one. Name a landform. Canyon. What continent is Japan on? Japan is an island, but is considered a member of the Asian continent. Saoru's thoughts were interrupted by a light poke. "Hey, you.. do you know the answer to 7?" a voice asked._

_Saoru twitched, irritated. "For one, random voice, this is a PLACEMENT EXAM. And two, you'd have to be stupid if you don't know the answer to 120 times 6." she fumed._

_"Just asking, don't have to get butthurt about it." the voice mumbled. That was Saoru's last straw. She turned in her seat to see a slacker with red hair. "Alright, mister. You-"_

_"Matsukata!" Ironman yelled. "My office! Now!"_

_"B-but.. you said that we can't leave the room or else we forfeit our scores!" Saoru exclaimed._

_"Too bad, sweetheart!" He said in a mocking tone._

_Saoru sighed, clenching her fists as she gathered her stuff, and walked out of the room in a huff. Himeji waved. Slacker just chuckled. Akihisa flicked the back of his head. "Hey, Yuuji. Yuuji hey." he whispered forcefully. "What, Akihisa." Yuuji grumbled._

_"Do you think we could win our way back to class A this year?"_

_"Doubtful. Matsukata sounded like she had potential." Yuuji said coolly, laying back in his chair with his feet on his desk. His arms were crossed, and eyes were closed._

_Saoru placed angrily outside the office. "I hate this school!" she grumbled, sitting down in a fit._

Saoru sat in the uncomfortable chair and hideous green chair. She listened with a slight pout at her father who was talking to Ironman.

"Saoru here was cheating on her Placement Exam."

Saoru opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it when Ironman shot her a death glare from over her father's shoulder. The auburn-haired teen fumed quietly.

"I know for a fact that Saoru did not cheat. Matsukata's don't cheat."

"Well then, let's hear Saoru's side of the story."

Saoru perked up at the sound of her name. She straightened almost instantaneously, and took a breath in. "Well, Father, I was sitting in the classroom, and people kept distracting me. First Pink-Hair asking for a pencil, then Ninja Perv, and then Slacker who asked me the answer for number 7. I mean, what kind of idiot doesn't know the answer to 120 times 7?" Saoru exclaimed, her cheeks tinted pink from both embarrassment and anger.

Her American father looked to Ironman with a smug look.

"Well, either way, Ms. Matsukata, since you left the roo-"

"You forcefully took me out of the room, you yourself said that, 'If we leave the room what-so-ever we forfeit the test'!" Saoru exclaimed, standing up with clenched fists and a brightened face.

"Dammit Matsukata, let me finish! Since you left the room, I am required to put you into Class F. But looking at your test, you got every. Single. Question. Right on that exam.. which would have brought you to class A, the highest class."

Saoru sat back down, stunned at his words. "Y-yes.. Mr. Ironman.." she said quietly.

Her father stood and shook Ironman's hand. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Matsukata. I look forward to teaching your daughter here at Funizuki Academy." Ironman said with a genuinely fake smile.

Saoru stood and walked out of the room. She inhaled sharply and looked at her dad with a half-lidded glare.

She waved him off with a simple, 'See you at home,'.

Ironman walked out of his office. "Report to room F1."

Saoru stood in the hallway while Ironman walked off.

"...scheisse.."


	3. Round 1, FIGHT!

(Author's Note: Hiya, guys. Thanks for sticking around with me through the first few chapters of Despicable Me. I've been working on a few other stories and found that with 5 study halls a week, I can get to about 3 or 4 more chapters so you guys won't be left with a cliffhanger. :3 And in case you haven't noticed or assumed, the italics are to 'recap' what happened last chapter. Also, I will be putting translations for the foreign words that you read. :3 Enjoy this next chapter!)

"_...scheisse.."_

Saoru groaned as she stalked the halls of Funizuki Academy. She had been put into class F, the lowest class.

"Where the hell is it?!" she mumbled. She passed the A classroom, and looked inside with a sense of longing. "Aw, man!" she again groaned. _If I would have not 'cheated' I'd be in that damned classroom! If A looks that nice.. how.. wait.. no.. this isn't it! _

Saoru stopped at the 'door' (which was really just a worn tablecloth being used as a makeshift door) of the classroom. She paled. "Oh no."

Pushing the tablecloth aside, she strode into the classroom with her eyes closed.. She twitched when she heard a voice from the back.

"Hey now, don't slam the door."

Saoru opened her eyes and looked upon the very smug face of Yuuji. "Why you… little..." she seethed, resisting the urge to strangle the red-head.

"Last time I checked, I was taller than you.." Yuuji mocked. There was a way about that tone of voice that made Saoru red with anger. "I'm only 5'4". Anything is taller than me." Saoru said sweetly, voice dripping with hate.

"Everyone, this is Saoru Matsukata. She _cheated on the placement exam._ Please treat her as you'd treat your friends. Saoru, if you would find a seat please."

Saoru had paled at the word 'cheat.' She nodded feebly, and walked over to the only open seat, which just so happened to be next to Yuuji's. "Can't stay away from me, huh?" he asked with a grin.

"These aren't even chairs," she mumbled.

Akihisa rose from his mat on the floor. "I say we fight our way back to A class this year."

"Wait, we can do that?" Saoru asked, perking up at the thought of being inside the beautiful classroom. With actual doors.

Akihisa nodded. "Yeah, we did it last year."

Saoru smiled. "When do we start?"

"Okay. Everyone listen up and shut your trap. We go in here, summon our avatars, and fight with our all. Yuuji, you go here as a blocker. Same with you, Akihisa. Get it?" Saoru explained.

"Got it." Yuuji said apathetically. Akihisa nodded.

"Good, let the games begin."


	4. Author's Note

(AN: Hey guys! Sorry the chapters are so damn short. I've been trying and I can't seem to write down more than 700 words a class. ^^|l' Sorry!

scheisse: shit in German. :3 )


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